


My Love's Birthday

by kany_jones



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Birthday, F/M, Fluff, M/M, No Sex, No Smut, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 08:06:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6509833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kany_jones/pseuds/kany_jones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Gerard's birthday, and Frank can't stop thinking about him. After years of being apart, has anything changed between them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Love's Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> On Gerard's birthday I tried to think about what Frank felt.  
> Because they can't be together anymore and that breaks my heart.  
> Happy birthday, Gee.

Today is the birthday of the love of my life. I tried for a long time to deny it, force myself to exclusively love somebody else, but it just wasn't the same. I have a wife and kids, and I love them, no doubt in that, but I can't say my life is complete without him in it. I'm Frank. _Frank._ FRANK. Frank Iero. I have it all. It sounds so weird, I’m still not accustomed to it. A great family, my dream job, lots of friends, and as I’m lying in bed with her on my side, staring at the ceiling, I can’t help but wonder how I can't feel happy. At least, not as happy as I thought I would be.

On days like this, I often do that. Wonder. Lots of what ifs go through my mind. What would have happened if we had decided to fight against all odds? Against everyone saying we couldn't be together? Against every single fear drenched cells in our bodies saying it wouldn't work out? I think about it sometimes, not that often, but on days like this, every small thing seems to lead to these thoughts.

I wish it wasn't like this. I wish I could just stop whining and be happy, but I can't, and I tried. God knows that I've tried. It's his birthday, and I was lucky enough to wake up by his side on a couple of them. But not this year. I won't even see him today. And I don't know what makes me sadder, the fact that we can't spend these kinds of special days together, or the fact that we don't spend any time together anymore.

Shit, I'm crying. I can't. I have to stop. J will notice it. She knows everything. Sometimes, she knows me better than I know myself. Well, that's the majority of times, to be completely honest. I don't deserve her. She is the most amazing woman ever, what she's doing with an insensitive, undeserving bastard like me, I don't know. I'll never know. God, I can't stop the tears.

“Frank, is everything alright?”

“Yeah, just...” I roll over and wipe away the tears. I hope my eyes aren't too red, I don’t want her to notice.

“Frank, don't you dare lying to me. You know I always find out the truth.”

Shit, she does.

“I just...” I sigh, and feel her arms wrapping around my waist, and a kiss on the back of my neck. “It's his birthday today.”

“Honey...” I hear her sympathetic voice, as she rests her chin on my shoulder. “You could’ve told me sooner, I hate to see you upset.”

“I know but... It was about him, and you don't deserve this. You don't deserve to deal with my fucked up thoughts, you deserve so much better.”

“Silly, if I didn't want to help you sort everything out I wouldn't have married you, would I?”

“Honey, I love you but that was a pretty dumb decision. Who would have wanted this mess for the rest of their lives?”

“I did, and I still do. And I hate to see you moping around for him again. I hope you have come to some conclusion.”

“Yeah, I'm sorry I bothered you, I won't talk about this again today. Or ever.”

“But you at least have something planned, right?”

“What?”

“It's his birthday, you can't stay still and do nothing.”

“What do you mean?” I honestly have no clue where she’s going with this. It’s one of the things I love about her. When I think I already know her, she always manages to surprise me.

“Well, I was thinking it was about time you hung out together again. And you could actually wish him a happy birthday in person, instead of posting it on twitter or whatever just to feel a little bit better. I think you two need a serious talk, but above all, you need to remember how you used to be friends, actually, best friends. This is not how best friends are supposed to feel about each other on special days.”

“And how could I do that? He’s in California, I can’t exactly meet him in a heartbeat, J…”

“You really believe I didn’t think this through?” She’s looking at me with big eyes, and a wonderful smile. I feel happier just from seeing her smile. “So, I saw how sad you’d get all these past few years, and this year I have something for you.” She got up, and is looking from something in her purse. I give her a confused look, because it’s better than any sentence I can form right now.

“Here. I hope you have fun and sort it out. Baby, I hate to see you sad.”

I can’t believe it. A concert ticket. For Gerard’s show in New York. Today.

“I… I…” I kiss her and hug her. She knows me so well.

“Just come back a little bit happier. I promised to be by your side in the good and bad moments, so, it’s my job to make you happy when you’re down. Talk to him, I’ll be here tomorrow, no matter what.”

“I love you. So much. You can’t even imagine it. Thank you.”

“I love you too. Go get dressed, you got a big day ahead of you. Don’t forget his present.”

Shit, I don’t have one. I gotta take care of that. Usually J takes care of gifts, but she’s done enough.

Besides, it has to be something special just between the two of us.

* * *

 

I arrive at the venue, a bit nervous, with his present in one hand, and the ticket in the other. It isn’t packed, and people don’t seem to recognize me, which is a good thing. It’s been a while since I went to a show like a normal person. Usually, there are bodyguards everywhere, shoving people and opening the way. I hate that. I miss being a part of the crowd, jumping and singing along like nothing matters. Now is only seated places with a VIP cord segregating us from everyone else. I must have complained so much to J about this, she actually got me a normal ticket. I love her.

I got in. There’s a small bar, facing the stage, where I sit and order a beer. I probably shouldn’t drink. I meeting him for fuck’s sakes. But I’m fucking nervous, I can’t help it. I remain close to the back for the show. I don’t want him to see me. Not yet. He sounds amazing. Full of life, charismatic, just like I remembered from seeing him on stage. In the audience is different, but great nevertheless. Everyone wishes him a happy birthday, and he gets embarrassed from all the extra attention. He blushes a little and is so cute when he does so. Even cuter than usual. Yeah, I thought that was impossible too.

Whoa, he finished already, it’s been what, twenty minutes? Holy fuck, almost two hours. Time does go fast when you’re nervous and dreading something. Or someone. He disappeared backstage and people are starting to leave. I pay the bartender and make my way to the back of the stage. There’s a bodyguard guarding his door, but he seems to recognize me, and nods, letting me pass. I nod and smile back, sighing as I knock lightly on the door.

I hear Gerard’s voice. A faint _Come in_. Just do it Frank, he’s not gonna wait forever. I peak my head through the door, opening it only slightly. He’s alone. His face is of pure surprise.

“Can I…?”

“Yeah, sure!” Gerard gets up immediately and meets me at the door, as I close it behind me.

We stare in silence for a good couple of minutes, until he hugs me, in a tight hug, burying his head on the crook of my neck.

“Gee, I…”

He parts the hug, but keeps close.

“What are you doing here?”

“I… Jamia… Uh…”

Oh-oh, I’m getting nervous. He senses it, and changes the subject.

“Is that for me?”

Oh right, the present!

“Yeah, I hope you like it. Happy birthday, Gee.”

He’s unwrapping, ripping off the paper, but I swear I can only hear my heart pounding in my chest. It’s a picture of both of us that we kept private, never sharing it with anyone, not even Ray or Mikey. It shows us on top of the Eiffel Tower, during our first major world tour, with him taking a selfie and me kissing his cheek. He’s wearing those dorky sunglasses, with his hair long and dark. I still have my piercings on, where did the time go? The picture is all blurry, but it’s my favorite. I framed it, with a nice black frame, and behind I wrote him something.

“Frankie, I… I love it!” He’s got the biggest smile on his face, and I’d put my balls on fire, because I bet he’s being genuine. He wouldn’t lie to me. Not now.

He hugs me once more, and I can’t help but feeling something changed with this hug.

He seems to be crying small tears, but smiling at the same time. He laughs a bit, probably from embarrassment, as he wipes his eyes with his hand. I laugh nervously along, and he asks again:

“So, why are you here?” He chuckles, and makes his way to the couch, holding my hand and dragging me along.

“Jamia offered me a ticket. She said best friends are supposed to be there for each other on special days.”

“She’s absolutely right, I’m glad you came to see me.”

He sighs and looks at me, eyes full of hope, smiling shyly.

“Gee… I… I need to talk to you.”

Gerard tilts his head slightly, and his smile fades away, he’s probably confused.

“Today I woke up, and I had no mood for getting out of bed. Remembering all the good times we spent together and how we don’t have those anymore just… It just tears me apart, you know? It happens every year and Jamia was tired of seeing it, so she wanted me to sort it all out with you. Honestly, I wanted to a long time too, but I never got the chance, but it’s becoming unbearable. I miss you, even if not as a lover, but as a friend.”

“I understand. I miss you too Frank. I know I haven’t been the best of friends lately, but I kind of want to make it up to you.”

Where is he going with this?

“I was waiting until everything was sorted out, but might as well tell you now. I’m moving back to New York. I was offered this collaboration with a major art studio, and I’m going to be much closer to you now. I was going to surprise you with it, but you beat me to it. I hope we can hang out a lot more, you know? Making up for lost time.”

Gee’s biting his lip. This can’t be good.

“Gee…”

I’m interrupted by his lips on mine. He tastes exactly like I remembered. Coffee and cigarettes. His lips are warm, and I can’t help but placing a hand on the back of his head, tangling his hair on my fingers. It’s even better than I was expecting. He pushes back and lays on top of me, never breaking the kiss. As he starts to play with the hem of my shirt, his hands also very warm, I can’t take it anymore, and separate our bodies.

“Gee, we can’t…” I steal one more quick kiss. “I love you, but I can’t do this anymore.”

Gerard seems disappointed, and sits back up again. He tries to comb his hair, but it only dishevels it more. I sit up too, and we share a few moments of silence.

“Deep down I knew it, y’know?” He finally breaks it. “I was just hoping it wasn’t in my head. But I guess it was.”

“Wait, no Gee, it’s not like that. I’ve missed you too, more than just what it’s like missing a friend…” I sigh once again “But, I love J so much, I can’t do this. When there was just us, I’d do everything with you, you know that. But now, I can’t lose her. We had our chance Gee. We just didn’t take it.”

“I understand. I couldn’t stand to lose Lindsey either.” He smiles a bit, but returns to his frown.

“That doesn’t mean we have to lose each other. For instance, I’d love to collaborate with you, like the good old days.” I say, smiling a bit and caressing his cheek.

“I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.” He answers back. I kiss him lightly again, and he smiles again.

I get up and he follows me, leading me to the door. I wrap my arms around his neck, for one last goodbye kiss.

“See you when you get here then.” I chuckle.

“Yeah, can’t wait.” He kisses me once more and I let go.

I’m almost out the door, when I turn and say:

“Gee, check the back of the photo by the way.”

I close the door and behind me I listen to hurried steps, as he left the frame on the couch.

I make my way to the street to call a taxi and go home. God, I hope he likes it.

 

**_We may not be together, but we will always belong to each other._ **

**_I love you. xo frnk_ **

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it :) :) :)


End file.
